Wednesday, April 20, 2016

"Love Is Everywhere"


I woke up Easter morning feeling excited but my stress mounted as I thought about all the things we had to do, and places we had to be.  I was also bummed that our church started so late, causing my whole family to rearrange their schedules in order to accommodate us.

Luckily the thrill of four little girls running around the house hunting for and finding little goodies made me smile.  This enjoyment helped me break free, for a moment, from my racing mind and anxiousness concerning the day’s demands.

As usual, 1:45 pm came around quicker than I could say, “It’s time for baths.”  Bryan and I scrambled, tripped over toys, and yelled the check off list to each other as we put each child in the car, wrestling with puffy dresses to find the bloody car seat buckles (ya know what I mean??).  This time, we thankfully didn’t have to turn around halfway through the neighborhood and grab JUST ONE MORE THING.  It was only early afternoon, and we both felt like we had run a freaking marathon! 

After ten minutes of refereeing in the car, we arrived at the church building.  It was then time for unbuckling and unloading the hyper hypos; carrying the massive overstocked diaper bag (50 pounds); things for lessons (20 pounds); putting shoes back on which had been removed during the drive; and carrying 1,000 pounds of homo-sapiens into the chapel!  All right you get it.  I was stressed!  My attitude was in the dumps!

We found a seat on a cushy bench, and when I had a chance to look up, I saw my friend Heidi Bruno sitting in the danger zone (where speakers sit).  My first reaction was, “Come on!”  “Give the girl a break!” For those of you who don’t know, Heidi has an 8 year old daughter Holly who has been battling a brain tumor for the last 10 months. Their lives are forever changed from the most grueling treatment regimen little Holly has had to endure.

Knowing what Heidi has gone through recently, and anxiously anticipating her message, softened my heart.  I was quickly reminded of what really matters, and I felt my earlier stress melt away.  My spirit was renewed, and my focus became centered on my blessings, the Savior and why we celebrate Easter.

Heidi delivered one of the most incredible, real and heartfelt talks I have ever heard!  I felt impressed to ask her for a copy of her talk so her message could be shared.  She agreed to give me a copy but expressed hesitancy.  She said her strength is not hers but is found in the Savior, and she wanted that fact to be included in the message I shared.

I could relate to this because I too am hesitant and nervous when others want to  share my story or writings.  I know that anything I have been able to do, or think, or say is because of HIM.  The scripture in Alma 26:12 speaks to my heart.  It reads, “ Yea, I know that I am nothing; as to my strength I am weak; therefore I will not boast of myself, but I will boast of my God, for in his strength I can do all things . . . “

HE is the reason we can continue on, and make a tragedy not just a tragedy but also a time to grow, learn, gain knowledge, and feel the Savior’s arms wrapped around us. This kind of peace is available to all who ask for it, and have any amount of faith they can muster. Heidi and I have asked and begged, and have gone through a roller coaster of emotions.  We have gone from anger to peace BECAUSE OF HIM.

I hope you can find peace and solace in this incredibly inspired message.



"I think it is very fitting that Easter comes at a time when the earth is experiencing rebirth and regrowth. After what has been a very long, dark, rainy winter it has been a joy to see bulbs sprouting, buds blossoming and bushes bursting with color.  From the small, bright colorful crocuses to the huge trees heavy with their large flowering blossoms I have been hopeful that this is a sign that the long winter is coming to an end and warmer, sunnier days are in our near future.  From the grey of winter has emerged the splendid colors of spring.  I am grateful for the life lessons God gives us through His creations.  There is a lesson in this transition from winter to spring about change, hope, beauty and new life. 

I see this same lesson in the change that has come to the Provo Tabernacle.  Growing up in Utah I attended many events in this historic building and was saddened to hear about the fire that destroyed so much of it.  Yet from the ashes they have created something truly remarkable, a beautiful temple that will serve so many on this earth and even more who have already moved to the other side of the veil.  We can learn so much from this transformation that applies to our own lives. 

There are so many things that happen to us in life that often leave us feeling as if our life is nothing but a pile of ashes and that any kind of rebirth or new growth is impossible.  After the tabernacle fire only the walls were left standing, leaving the insides hollow and empty.  Things can happen to us in our lives that leave us feeling hollow and empty. I have certainly felt this in my own life, sometimes more than at other times. 

As a 17 year old girl I watched as my mom took her last breath and felt consumed with an emptiness I feared would never go away.  When Holly was diagnosed with cancer my world was completely shattered and filled with despair, emptiness and fear.  In those desperate moments I felt a renewal of the joy, peace and happiness I had felt before these changes would be so hard to find again.  But just as winter changes to spring, and as the provo tabernacle was changed from ashes to a beautiful temple, I have witnessed as my own moments of despair and grief have turned into things more beautiful than I could have imagined.  Holly has been a great example to me of finding the beauty and joy in the ashes.  I have shared this story so many times but I feel it is a message that can’t be shared enough.  During Holly’s first hospital stay, when she was in so much pain and was enduring so many surgeries and procedures she recognized all the love that was being shown to her and wrote the words Love is Everywhere on her whiteboard in her hospital room.  She helped me see that from the ashes, we could still find a renewal of our hope and peace.  Just as the tabernacle was transformed into something different, new and beautiful I have seen the same thing happen with Holly’s life.  Her life is so different than it was 9 mos ago but it is still beautiful and wonderful.  And because of her belief in love and joy she is blessing hundreds of people with her example.  This shy, quiet girl, who often went unnoticed as the middle child of 5 kids is now able to take her new life and inspire and strengthen others.  Of course I wish none of this had to happen.  There are so many things in our lives that we wish so badly never happened, that somehow we could turn back the clock and find a different path instead.  But that is not how life is.  We cannot hide from sorrow and grief.  What we can do is search for the beauty around us, even amidst the pain.  We can find those new blossoms, the flowers that are budding, the brilliant colors that stand out against the dark, grey sky.  My heart hurts on a regular basis because of everything that Holly has to go through.  But in the same moment it soars with joy, peace, happiness and hope as I witness the goodness of literally hundreds of people who have reached out to us in love.

I am so grateful for Jesus Christ.  I am grateful for the lessons He taught us while he lived on this earth and for the miracles He performed that continue to teach and inspire us.  Two in particular have given me strength many times over the past year. One was the miracle of the stilling of the storm.  The book, Jesus the Christ, explains this miracle beautifully. 

The instruction to launch forth and cross to the opposite side of the lake was given by Jesus, who probably desired a respite after the arduous labors of the day. Jesus found a resting place near the stern of the ship and soon fell asleep. A great storm arose; and still He slept. Meanwhile the storm increased in fury; the wind rendered the boat unmanageable; waves beat over the side; so much water was shipped that the vessel seemed about to founder. The disciples were terror-stricken; yet through it all Jesus rested peacefully. In their extremity of fear, the disciples awakened Him, crying out, according to the several independent accounts, “Master, Master, we perish”; “Lord, save us: we perish”; and, “Master, carest thou not that we perish?” They were abjectly frightened, and at least partly forgetful that there was with them One whose voice even death had to obey. Their terrified appeal was not wholly devoid of hope nor barren of faith: “Lord, save us” they cried. Calmly He replied to their piteous call, “Why are ye fearful, O ye of little faith?” Then He arose; and out through the darkness of that fearsome night, into the roaring wind, over the storm lashed sea, went the voice of the Lord as He “rebuked the wind, and said unto the sea, Peace, be still. And the wind ceased, and there was a great calm.

I have thought of this miracle many times as I have felt the storm in my life as we have dealt with Holly’s treatments and Rick’s job insecurity, on top of the daily things we all have to deal with.  There have been many times when I too have turned to the Lord in panic, wondering if He cared that I feared I couldn’t make it one more day.  And in these moments, I too have felt the calming influence of having faith in my Savior and trust that the storm would never be greater than what I could manage.  So often I have been calmed by the acts of service many of you have performed for my family.  I know that it is through others that Christ shows His love.  That our hands become His hands.  Thank you for the miracles you have performed for us in His behalf.

Another valuable lesson was learned by Christ’s disciples as they once again found themselves in troubled waters.  This time Christ was not with them on the boat but they quickly recognized Him as He walked on the water towards their boat.  When Peter realized it was Christ He said,   Lord, if it be thou, bid me come unto thee on the water.

29 And he said, Come. And when Peter was come down out of the ship, he walked on the water, to go to Jesus.

This is an example of each of us, when we choose to have faith and follow Christ, even when there are so many unknowns, so many things that might be hard to explain or understand.  Again from Matthew 14 we read:

30 But when he saw the wind boisterous, he was afraid; and beginning to sink, he cried, saying, Lord, save me. 

Once again I think we all find ourselves in Peter’s situation, more often than we care to admit.  When life gets difficult, when the storm is too great, we lose focus on our Savior and we start to sink.  I am grateful for Peter’s example of turning back to the Lord and crying out for help.  We need to remember in our times of need to immediately turn to Christ before we lose our way completely.  Jesus’ reaction to Peter’s cry for help is beautiful.   
 31 And immediately Jesus stretched forth his hand, and caught him.

Immediately.  I love that word.  He will always stretch forth His hand and catch each of us as we turn to Him.  We continue to read:
 32 And when they were come into the ship, the wind ceased.
Once again the calming of the sea, the calming of our lives. 

 33 Then they that were in the ship came and worshipped him, saying, Of a truth thou art the Son of God.

I add my testimony to the disciples of old that Christ has stretched forth His hand and calmed my life.

I am eternally grateful for the sacrifices and sorrow He endured for us. He was not a stranger to suffering.  The scene in the Garden of Gethsamane gives us a glimpse into His suffering. From Jesus is the Christ we read that Jesus was Accompanied by Peter, James and John, He went and was soon enveloped by deep sorrow, which appears to have been, in a measure, surprising to Himself, for we read that He “began to be sore amazed, and to be very heavy.” He was impelled to deny Himself the companionship of even the chosen three; and, “Saith he unto them, My soul is exceeding sorrowful, even unto death: tarry ye here, and watch with me. And he went a little farther, and fell on his face, and prayed, saying, O my Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me: nevertheless not as I will, but as thou wilt.”  Even Christ wanted the pain He felt to be taken away. 

Three times He went to His lonely vigil and individual struggle, and was heard to implore the Father with the same words of yearning entreaty. Luke tells us that “there appeared an angel unto him from heaven, strengthening him”; but not even the presence of this super-earthly visitant could dispel the awful anguish of His soul. “And being in an agony he prayed more earnestly: and his sweat was as it were great drops of blood falling down to the ground.”

His suffering continued on the cross where we once again read about Christ feeling alone and abandoned.  Elder Christopherson relates what happened next: 

A crushing sense of defeat and despair enveloped His disciples as Jesus suffered and died on the cross and His body was placed lifeless in the tomb. Despite what the Savior had repeatedly said of His death and subsequent rising again, they had not understood. The dark afternoon of His Crucifixion, however, was soon followed by the joyous morning of His Resurrection. Mary Magdalene and a few other faithful women came early to the Savior’s tomb that Sunday morning, bringing spices and ointments to complete the anointing begun when the Lord’s body was hastily laid in the sepulcher before the approaching Sabbath. On this morning of mornings, they were greeted by an open sepulcher, the covering stone having been rolled away, and two angels who declared: “Why seek ye the living among the dead? “He is not here, but is risen:  As bidden by the angels, Mary Magdalene looked into the tomb, but it seems that all that registered in her mind was that the body of the Lord was gone. She hurried to report to the Apostles and, finding Peter and John, said to them, “They have taken away the Lord out of the sepulcher, and we know not where they have laid him.”3 Peter and John ran to the place and verified that indeed the tomb was empty, seeing “the linen clothes lying … and the napkin, that was about his head, … wrapped together in a place by itself.” Peter and John left, but Mary remained behind, still in mourning. In the meantime the angels had returned and tenderly asked her, “Woman, why weepest thou? She saith unto them, Because they have taken away my Lord, and I know not where they have laid him.”6 At that moment the resurrected Savior, now standing behind her, spoke, “Woman, why weepest thou? whom seekest thou? She, supposing him to be the gardener, saith unto him, Sir, if thou have borne him hence, tell me where thou hast laid him, and I will take him away.”7
Elder James E. Talmage wrote: “It was Jesus to whom she spake, her beloved Lord, though she knew it not. One word from His living lips changed her agonized grief into ecstatic joy. ‘Jesus saith unto her, Mary.’ The voice, the tone, the tender accent she had heard and loved in the earlier days lifted her from the despairing depths into which she had sunk. She turned, and saw the Lord. In a transport of joy she reached out her arms to embrace Him, uttering only the endearing and worshipful word, ‘Rabboni,’ meaning My beloved Master.”8

The word resurrection means to cause something that had ended to exist again.  I find so much hope and joy in the resurrection of Christ.  His life, which had so tragically ended, was renewed again.  And with that renewal came renewal of every kind in our own lives.  Renewal of hope when our dreams are shattered, renewal of peace when we find forgiveness for wrongs we have done, renewal of joy when sadness seems it will consume us, and renewal of life after this death.  Because of this knowledge, the emptiness and loss I felt when my mom died was replaced with the joy and hope I find in the resurrection and the knowledge that life continues after death. 

I want to end today with the lyrics from the Hymn Where Can I Turn for 

Peace:
1. Where can I turn for peace?
Where is my solace
When other sources cease to make me whole?
When with a wounded heart, anger, or malice,
I draw myself apart,
Searching my soul?
2. Where, when my aching grows,
Where, when I languish,
Where, in my need to know, where can I run?
Where is the quiet hand to calm my anguish?
Who, who can understand?
He, only One.
3. He answers privately,
Reaches my reaching
In my Gethsemane, Savior and Friend.
Gentle the peace he finds for my beseeching.
Constant he is and kind,
Love without end.

I bear testimony on this Easter Sunday of the peace and love our Savior, Jesus Christ, can bring into our lives as we in faith reach out to Him."

Below is the link to the video I was fortunate to put together for our conference a couple months ago...

"Choose to have faith."



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