I woke up Easter morning feeling excited but my stress
mounted as I thought about all the things we had to do, and places we had to
be. I was also bummed that our church
started so late, causing my whole family to rearrange their schedules in order
to accommodate us.
Luckily the thrill of four little girls running around the
house hunting for and finding little goodies made me smile. This enjoyment helped me break free, for a
moment, from my racing mind and anxiousness concerning the day’s demands.
As usual, 1:45 pm came around quicker than I could say,
“It’s time for baths.” Bryan and I
scrambled, tripped over toys, and yelled the check off list to each other as we
put each child in the car, wrestling with puffy dresses to find the bloody car
seat buckles (ya know what I mean??).
This time, we thankfully didn’t have to turn around halfway through the
neighborhood and grab JUST ONE MORE THING.
It was only early afternoon, and we both felt like we had run a freaking
marathon!
After ten minutes of refereeing in the car, we arrived at
the church building. It was then time
for unbuckling and unloading the hyper hypos; carrying the massive overstocked
diaper bag (50 pounds); things for lessons (20 pounds); putting shoes back on
which had been removed during the drive; and carrying 1,000 pounds of
homo-sapiens into the chapel! All right
you get it. I was stressed! My attitude was in the dumps!
We found a seat on a cushy bench, and when I had a chance to
look up, I saw my friend Heidi Bruno sitting in the danger zone (where speakers
sit). My first reaction was, “Come
on!” “Give the girl a break!” For those
of you who don’t know, Heidi has an 8 year old daughter Holly who has been
battling a brain tumor for the last 10 months. Their lives are forever changed
from the most grueling treatment regimen little Holly has had to endure.
Knowing what Heidi has gone through recently, and anxiously
anticipating her message, softened my heart.
I was quickly reminded of what really matters, and I felt my earlier
stress melt away. My spirit was renewed,
and my focus became centered on my blessings, the Savior and why we celebrate
Easter.
Heidi delivered one of the most incredible, real and
heartfelt talks I have ever heard! I felt
impressed to ask her for a copy of her talk so her message could be
shared. She agreed to give me a copy but
expressed hesitancy. She said her
strength is not hers but is found in the Savior, and she wanted that fact to be
included in the message I shared.
I could relate to this because I too am hesitant and nervous
when others want to share my story or
writings. I know that anything I have
been able to do, or think, or say is because of HIM. The scripture in Alma 26:12 speaks to my
heart. It reads, “ Yea,
I know that I am nothing; as to my strength I am weak; therefore I will not
boast of myself, but I will boast of my God, for in his strength I can do all
things . . . “
HE is the reason we can continue on, and make a tragedy not
just a tragedy but also a time to grow, learn, gain knowledge, and feel the
Savior’s arms wrapped around us. This kind of peace is available to all who ask
for it, and have any amount of faith they can muster. Heidi and I have asked
and begged, and have gone through a roller coaster of emotions. We have gone from anger to peace BECAUSE OF
HIM.
I hope you can find peace and solace in this incredibly
inspired message.
"I think it is very fitting that Easter comes at a time when
the earth is experiencing rebirth and regrowth. After what has been a very
long, dark, rainy winter it has been a joy to see bulbs sprouting, buds
blossoming and bushes bursting with color.
From the small, bright colorful crocuses to the huge trees heavy with
their large flowering blossoms I have been hopeful that this is a sign that the
long winter is coming to an end and warmer, sunnier days are in our near
future. From the grey of winter has
emerged the splendid colors of spring. I
am grateful for the life lessons God gives us through His creations. There is a lesson in this transition from
winter to spring about change, hope, beauty and new life.
I see this same lesson in the change that has come to the
Provo Tabernacle. Growing up in Utah I
attended many events in this historic building and was saddened to hear about
the fire that destroyed so much of it.
Yet from the ashes they have created something truly remarkable, a
beautiful temple that will serve so many on this earth and even more who have
already moved to the other side of the veil.
We can learn so much from this transformation that applies to our own
lives.
There are so many things that happen to us in life that
often leave us feeling as if our life is nothing but a pile of ashes and that
any kind of rebirth or new growth is impossible. After the tabernacle fire only the walls were
left standing, leaving the insides hollow and empty. Things can happen to us in our lives that
leave us feeling hollow and empty. I have certainly felt this in my own life,
sometimes more than at other times.
As a 17 year old girl I watched as my mom took her last
breath and felt consumed with an emptiness I feared would never go away. When Holly was diagnosed with cancer my world
was completely shattered and filled with despair, emptiness and fear. In those desperate moments I felt a renewal
of the joy, peace and happiness I had felt before these changes would be so
hard to find again. But just as winter
changes to spring, and as the provo tabernacle was changed from ashes to a
beautiful temple, I have witnessed as my own moments of despair and grief have
turned into things more beautiful than I could have imagined. Holly has been a great example to me of
finding the beauty and joy in the ashes.
I have shared this story so many times but I feel it is a message that
can’t be shared enough. During Holly’s
first hospital stay, when she was in so much pain and was enduring so many surgeries
and procedures she recognized all the love that was being shown to her and
wrote the words Love is Everywhere on her whiteboard in her hospital room. She helped me see that from the ashes, we
could still find a renewal of our hope and peace. Just as the tabernacle was transformed into
something different, new and beautiful I have seen the same thing happen with
Holly’s life. Her life is so different
than it was 9 mos ago but it is still beautiful and wonderful. And because of her belief in love and joy she
is blessing hundreds of people with her example. This shy, quiet girl, who often went unnoticed
as the middle child of 5 kids is now able to take her new life and inspire and
strengthen others. Of course I wish none
of this had to happen. There are so many
things in our lives that we wish so badly never happened, that somehow we could
turn back the clock and find a different path instead. But that is not how life is. We cannot hide from sorrow and grief. What we can do is search for the beauty
around us, even amidst the pain. We can
find those new blossoms, the flowers that are budding, the brilliant colors
that stand out against the dark, grey sky.
My heart hurts on a regular basis because of everything that Holly has
to go through. But in the same moment it
soars with joy, peace, happiness and hope as I witness the goodness of literally
hundreds of people who have reached out to us in love.
I am so grateful for Jesus Christ. I am grateful for the lessons He taught us
while he lived on this earth and for the miracles He performed that continue to
teach and inspire us. Two in particular
have given me strength many times over the past year. One was the miracle of
the stilling of the storm. The book,
Jesus the Christ, explains this miracle beautifully.
The instruction to launch forth and cross to the opposite
side of the lake was given by Jesus, who probably desired a respite after the
arduous labors of the day. Jesus found a resting place near the stern of the
ship and soon fell asleep. A great storm arose; and still He slept.
Meanwhile the storm increased in fury; the wind rendered the boat unmanageable;
waves beat over the side; so much water was shipped that the vessel seemed
about to founder. The disciples were terror-stricken; yet through it all Jesus
rested peacefully. In their extremity of fear, the disciples awakened Him,
crying out, according to the several independent accounts, “Master, Master, we
perish”; “Lord, save us: we perish”; and, “Master, carest thou not that we
perish?” They were abjectly frightened, and at least partly forgetful that
there was with them One whose voice even death had to obey. Their terrified
appeal was not wholly devoid of hope nor barren of faith: “Lord, save us” they
cried. Calmly He replied to their piteous call, “Why are ye fearful, O ye of
little faith?” Then He arose; and out through the darkness of that fearsome
night, into the roaring wind, over the storm lashed sea, went the voice of the
Lord as He “rebuked the wind, and said unto the sea, Peace, be still. And the
wind ceased, and there was a great calm.
I have thought of this miracle many times as I have felt the
storm in my life as we have dealt with Holly’s treatments and Rick’s job
insecurity, on top of the daily things we all have to deal with. There have been many times when I too have
turned to the Lord in panic, wondering if He cared that I feared I couldn’t
make it one more day. And in these
moments, I too have felt the calming influence of having faith in my Savior and
trust that the storm would never be greater than what I could manage. So often I have been calmed by the acts of
service many of you have performed for my family. I know that it is through others that Christ
shows His love. That our hands become
His hands. Thank you for the miracles
you have performed for us in His behalf.
Another valuable lesson was learned by Christ’s disciples as
they once again found themselves in troubled waters. This time Christ was not with them on the
boat but they quickly recognized Him as He walked on the water towards their
boat. When Peter realized it was Christ
He said, Lord, if
it be thou, bid me come unto thee on the water.
29 And he said, Come. And
when Peter was come down out of the ship, he walked on the water, to go to
Jesus.
This is an example of each of us, when we choose to have
faith and follow Christ, even when there are so many unknowns, so many things
that might be hard to explain or understand.
Again from Matthew 14 we read:
30 But when he saw the
wind boisterous, he was afraid; and beginning to sink, he cried, saying,
Lord, save me.
Once again I think we all find ourselves in Peter’s
situation, more often than we care to admit.
When life gets difficult, when the storm is too great, we lose focus on
our Savior and we start to sink. I am
grateful for Peter’s example of turning back to the Lord and crying out for
help. We need to remember in our times
of need to immediately turn to Christ before we lose our way completely. Jesus’ reaction to Peter’s cry for help is
beautiful.
Immediately. I love
that word. He will always stretch forth
His hand and catch each of us as we turn to Him. We continue to read:
Once again the calming of the sea, the calming of our
lives.
33 Then they that were in
the ship came and worshipped him, saying, Of a truth thou art the Son of God.
I add my testimony to the disciples of old that Christ has
stretched forth His hand and calmed my life.
I am eternally grateful for the sacrifices and sorrow He
endured for us. He was not a stranger to suffering. The scene in the Garden of Gethsamane gives
us a glimpse into His suffering. From Jesus is the Christ we read that Jesus
was Accompanied by Peter, James and John, He went and was soon enveloped by
deep sorrow, which appears to have been, in a measure, surprising to Himself,
for we read that He “began to be sore amazed, and to be very heavy.” He was
impelled to deny Himself the companionship of even the chosen three; and,
“Saith he unto them, My soul is exceeding sorrowful, even unto death: tarry ye
here, and watch with me. And he went a little farther, and fell on his face,
and prayed, saying, O my Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me:
nevertheless not as I will, but as thou wilt.”
Even Christ wanted the pain He felt to be taken away.
Three times He went to His lonely vigil and individual
struggle, and was heard to implore the Father with the same words of yearning
entreaty. Luke tells us that “there appeared an angel unto him from heaven,
strengthening him”; but not even the presence of this super-earthly visitant could
dispel the awful anguish of His soul. “And being in an agony he prayed more
earnestly: and his sweat was as it were great drops of blood falling down to
the ground.”
His suffering continued on the cross where we once again
read about Christ feeling alone and abandoned.
Elder Christopherson relates what happened next:
A crushing sense of defeat and despair enveloped His
disciples as Jesus suffered and died on the cross and His body was placed
lifeless in the tomb. Despite what the Savior had repeatedly said of His death
and subsequent rising again, they had not understood. The dark afternoon of His
Crucifixion, however, was soon followed by the joyous morning of His
Resurrection. Mary Magdalene and a few other faithful women came early to the
Savior’s tomb that Sunday morning, bringing spices and ointments to complete the
anointing begun when the Lord’s body was hastily laid in the sepulcher before
the approaching Sabbath. On this morning of mornings, they were greeted by an
open sepulcher, the covering stone having been rolled away, and two angels who declared:
“Why seek ye the living among the dead? “He is not here, but is risen: As bidden by the angels, Mary Magdalene
looked into the tomb, but it seems that all that registered in her mind was
that the body of the Lord was gone. She hurried to report to the Apostles and,
finding Peter and John, said to them, “They have taken away the Lord out of the
sepulcher, and we know not where they have laid him.”3 Peter
and John ran to the place and verified that indeed the tomb was empty, seeing
“the linen clothes lying … and the napkin, that was about his head, …
wrapped together in a place by itself.” Peter and John left, but Mary remained
behind, still in mourning. In the meantime the angels had returned and tenderly
asked her, “Woman, why weepest thou? She saith unto them, Because they have
taken away my Lord, and I know not where they have laid him.”6 At
that moment the resurrected Savior, now standing behind her, spoke, “Woman, why
weepest thou? whom seekest thou? She, supposing him to be the gardener, saith
unto him, Sir, if thou have borne him hence, tell me where thou hast laid him,
and I will take him away.”7
Elder James E. Talmage wrote: “It was Jesus to whom she
spake, her beloved Lord, though she knew it not. One word from His living lips
changed her agonized grief into ecstatic joy. ‘Jesus saith unto her, Mary.’ The
voice, the tone, the tender accent she had heard and loved in the earlier days
lifted her from the despairing depths into which she had sunk. She turned, and
saw the Lord. In a transport of joy she reached out her arms to embrace Him,
uttering only the endearing and worshipful word, ‘Rabboni,’ meaning My beloved
Master.”8
The word resurrection means to cause something that had
ended to exist again. I find so much
hope and joy in the resurrection of Christ.
His life, which had so tragically ended, was renewed again. And with that renewal came renewal of every
kind in our own lives. Renewal of hope
when our dreams are shattered, renewal of peace when we find forgiveness for
wrongs we have done, renewal of joy when sadness seems it will consume us, and
renewal of life after this death.
Because of this knowledge, the emptiness and loss I felt when my mom
died was replaced with the joy and hope I find in the resurrection and the
knowledge that life continues after death.
I want to end today with the lyrics from the Hymn Where Can
I Turn for
Peace:
1. Where can I turn for peace?
Where is my solace
When other sources cease to make me whole?
When with a wounded heart, anger, or malice,
I draw myself apart,
Searching my soul?
2. Where, when my aching grows,
Where, when I languish,
Where, in my need to know, where can I run?
Where is the quiet hand to calm my anguish?
Who, who can understand?
He, only One.
3. He answers privately,
Reaches my reaching
In my Gethsemane, Savior and Friend.
Gentle the peace he finds for my beseeching.
Constant he is and kind,
Love without end.
I bear testimony on this
Easter Sunday of the peace and love our Savior, Jesus Christ, can bring into
our lives as we in faith reach out to Him."
Below is the link to the video I was fortunate to put together for our conference a couple months ago...
"Choose to have faith."
Below is the link to the video I was fortunate to put together for our conference a couple months ago...
"Choose to have faith."
