I know I have said this a million times but once again, the last 6 years have had a lot of change and a lot of trials but also unbelievable miracles and blessings. Not only has my life had twists and unexpected turns, but I have been very aware of the twists and turns in the lives of others especially after I have experienced what it is like to be stretched to physical, mental, emotional and spiritual limits.
This new awareness started in 2009 and honestly I think it's just something that happens naturally when you have experienced any type of pain from something difficult. For example: After Michael took his own life, it felt and feels like I am frequently hearing about similar situations. Time and time again I am learning about recent widows with children, or someone being diagnosed with cancer, infidelity issues, and distrust, depression, anxiety, addictions... The list goes on an on. So often I have heard people say to me and my family, "why do bad things happen to such good people? haven't you been through enough?" I'll be honest I have asked that same question about others time and time again. What more could they possible learn Lord? Why would this be thy will? I think those are very normal and natural questions to ask right after hearing tragic news about someone but this question has really been weighing on me now that my awareness of the suffering of others is so pronounced.
I often listen to conference talks in my car while I drive to and from places to help ease my mind and gain strength, and yesterday I listened to one talk from the recent General Woman's session given by Linda Reeves called "Worthy of our promised blessings." There were many things that stood out to me in this talk but more than anything I feel like this question of "why do bad things happen to someone who is really trying," was finally answered. She said, "Recently I talked to an old friend who has gone through two divorces due to the addictions and unfaithfulness of her husbands. She and her three children have suffered greatly. She pleaded, “I have tried so hard to live righteously. Why have I had so many trials? What have I done wrong? What does Heavenly Father want me to do? I pray and read my scriptures, help my children, and go to the temple often.”
As I listened to this sister, I felt like shouting out, “You are doing it! You are doing all that Heavenly Father wants and hopes you will do!”
Understandably, many have expressed that our Father’s promised blessings are just “way too far away,” particularly when our lives are overflowing with challenges. But Amulek taught that “this life is the time … to prepare to meet God.”8 It is not the time to receive all of our blessings. President Packer explained, “‘And they all lived happily ever after’ is never written into the second act. That line belongs in the third act, when the mysteries are solved and everything is put right.”9However, a vision of our Father’s incredible promised blessings must be the central focus before our eyes every day—as well as an awareness “of the multitude of his tender mercies”10 that we experience on a daily basis.
Sisters, I do not know why we have the many trials that we have, but it is my personal feeling that the reward is so great, so eternal and everlasting, so joyful and beyond our understanding that in that day of reward, we may feel to say to our merciful, loving Father, “Was that all that was required?” I believe that if we could daily remember and recognize the depth of that love our Heavenly Father and our Savior have for us, we would be willing to do anything to be back in Their presence again, surrounded by Their love eternally. What will it matter, dear sisters, what we suffered here if, in the end, those trials are the very things which qualify us for eternal life and exaltation in the kingdom of God with our Father and Savior?"
Isn't that incredible??? I love how she said, "I DO NOT KNOW WHY WE HAVE THE MANY TRIALS THAT WE HAVE BUT IT IS MY PERSONAL FEELING THAT THE REWARD IS SO GREAT, SO ETERNAL AND EVERLASTING, SO JOYFUL AND BEYOND OUR UNDERSTANDING THAT IN THAT DAY OF REWARD, WE MAY FEEL TO SAY TO OUR MERCIFUL, LOVING FATHER, "WAS THAT ALL THAT WAS REQUIRED??? WHAT WILL IT MATTER, DEAR SISTERS, WHAT WE SUFFERED HERE IF, IN THE END, THOSE TRIALS ARE THE VERY THINGS WHICH QUALIFY US FOR ETERNAL LIFE..."
I never thought of myself ever saying "was that it? That's all I had to experience and do to get here?" NEVER IN A MILLION YEARS WOULD I THINK TO SAY THAT. But now as I hear of tragedy all around me, I am choosing to look at it all with a different perspective. I choose to instead picture that very individual standing before God saying, "is that all that was required?" Although I would never EVER want to go through the trials I have faced again, I truly am beyond grateful for the times in my life that may have been qualifying moments and the other qualifying moments to come as well as the atonement to cover the parts where I frequently fall short.
Another thing I have been so moved by is the reality of the light of christ in others. If someone were to ask me what that meant a few months ago I may have just come up with a super basic guess, but recently after watching the following video I have a better understanding on what that truly means.
Click: Light of Christ
I engage everyday with people from different faiths, people from different cultures, and people with very different opinions and moral views on life in general but time and time again I can sense and see the one thing that we all have in common which is the light of Christ. Today as I knocked door to door in my neighborhood with my kids in hopes to sell bracelets for the Bruno family who have an 8 year old daughter that has been diagnosed with cancer, I have had to stop in between houses and wipe my tears of gratitude for the light of Christ that I have witnessed this evening. Complete strangers from all walks of life, have reached out, supported and expressed their care and love and faith on behalf of an 8 year old stranger. . My 5 year old daughter Reese frequently asked, "why is everyone being so nice mom?" As I tried to compose myself I knelt down on the sidewalk in front of her and looked into her great big blue Jared eyes and said, "because everyone has the light of christ." It's that part of us that wants to do good, the part that we can often reject or battle with but that's always there. I told her that if we don't listen to that part of us over and over again, it will get smaller and smaller and could eventually leave us." I have no idea if she got anything I said but I knew that moment was more for me than for her.
You guys, I am so grateful for the knowledge that our sufferings in this life are for a greater purpose and once we can see it and feel it and touch it we will say "is that all I had to do to get here?" I know that the light of Christ is real and it's in all of us. I encourage everyone to look for that light in others instead of noticing the differences. I love the Gospel of Jesus Christ I know it's true and that it's promised that anyone who asks with a sincere heart and real intent will come to know as well.
Love Tiff
